Terror Express
1980
Starring: Carlo De Mejo, Werner Pochath, Silvia Dionisio
This obscure sleaze epic is yet
another Italian Last House on the Left
rip-off, set on a train (a la Aldo Lado’s
Night Train Murders), featuring an
‘all-star’ cast: Silvia Dionisio (ex-Mrs. Ruggero Deodato), Werner Pochath,
Zora Kerova, Carlo
de Mejo,
Venantino Venantini and Gianluigi Chirizzi. A group of passengers is waiting to board an
express train to Switzerland. Among the commuters are a unhappily married
couple - arrogant, bored Anna (Kerova) and her wealthy older husband, a lecherous old
businessman who orders his assistant to buy every porno magazine from the
newsstand for him, a family: father (Venantini), mother and nubile teenage
daughter, Evelyn, an elderly man and his bedridden wife, a prisoner, Peter
(Chirizzi), under arrest for ‘political reasons’ and his minder, and a
beautiful young woman, Juliette (Dionisio), who we soon discover is a
high-class prostitute. At the train station, Juliette is harassed by a trio of
obnoxious men, Ernie (de Mejo), Dave (Pochath) and Phil while talking on a
public phone. The passengers board the train and it is soon revealed that the
trio is also on board. They proceed to make a nuisance of themselves in the
restaurant carriage, much to the disdain of the other diners. Dave trips up the
waiter and is reprimanded, provoking Ernie to spew out a torrent of inane
counter-culture psychobabble, including: “…it was a small and banal accident,
provoked by the forces that dictate the destiny of humanity…mysteriousness…the
pharaohs…the druids…and punk rock!” Airhead Anna applauds his statements, and
soon they are making love in his compartment (de Mejo, who is supposed to be
the film’s ‘hunk’ (complete with gold chain, open-neck shirt and big hair, has
a not particularly prepossessing nude scene)) They are joined by Phil, who rapes Anna. Meanwhile,
Venantini’s unhealthy interest in his daughter is revealed when he obtains her
nightgown and asks Juliette to wear it while having sex with her, in a decidedly
uncomfortable scene. They are interrupted by Dave, who is fed up with waiting
for his turn with Juliette. She refuses him, and all hell breaks
loose as the trio take over the train. Dave threatens to rape Evelyn, and her
mother pleads with Juliette to comply with his demands. Reluctantly, she does
(cue yet another tedious sex scene), then Dave offers her to all the men in the
train. Peter, the young prisoner, goes in, but is kind to her. Juliette tells
him about her sad childhood and soon they fall in love. Ernie promises Evelyn
that no one will hurt her, and gets her a glass of water. The drippy girl is
then his next conquest. The train suddenly stops, and the trio panic. Ernie
accidentally suffocates the elderly bedridden woman when trying to quieten her,
and feels remorse because “we weren’t supposed to kill anyone”. Peter manages
to escape from his compartment and predictably manages to dispatch of the trio.
End of movie.
This very politically incorrect thriller
differentiates itself from the other Last
House… rip-offs by being virtually bloodless, instead focusing on the more
sexploitative elements of the subgenre (all of the lead actresses have
gratuitous nude scenes). The script (written by Joe d’Amato regular Luigi
Montefiori/George Eastman) and direction are mechanical, and it is
difficult to feel sympathy for the characters, as Ferdinando Baldi has deliberately made
most of them as unlikable as possible. The antics of the trio of degenerates
provide the most interest, and it is highly amusing to see de Mejo and Pochath
(who were obviously at least in their mid-thirties at the time) playing ‘young
delinquents’. There’s also a great Kraftwerk-esque electronic score by Marcello Giombini (sadly most of the master tapes for Giombini's soundtracks are believed to have been lost).
